Turning Shame into Growth
The world is in riots and it might seem like everything is falling apart. Is society as we know it about to change forever? Maybe, and if so - FINALLY!
The fact that we need systematic change is not lost on anyone, and as someone who's been fighting for a climate revolution almost all my life, the more-than-common strikes, rallies, and public requests for change these days come with a great sigh of relief. Are we finally about to witness the deeper transformation? Maybe, just maybe, the world is ready for some actual change.
"Social healing and ecological healing are the same work. Neither is to be privileged over the other, neither can succeed without the other." - Charles Eisenstein.
I always thought that I was in support of black lives matter and I believe that the same rights and opportunities should apply to everyone. Obviously, I thought, I’m an anti-racist. However, I've now learned that being a non-racist is not enough and that my silence and in-action are only allowing for the long-lived underlying racist system to carry on. It's time that we become anti-racists and that all of us show up for the work.
What has become so evident for me, as I'm sure it has for many others, is that purely carrying the thoughts of a just and inclusive world is not enough, not when the underlying system is continuously supporting white people.
So this is me putting my vulnerable heart on the table — I was caught in a great deal of shame when the death of George Floyd sparked the #blacklivesmatter to take new forms in the summer of 2020. That shame was uncomfortable at first, but I soon realized that it was necessary. Because without that shame, I wouldn’t have been able to grow.
Turn your Shame into Growth in 7 Steps
ONE.
Acknowledge the feeling of shame and that it's there. Understand that it's a good thing, shame means you care and that you've come to new realizations (about yourself and the world).
TWO.
Replace your shame with acceptance. Shame is disempowering, acceptance empowers you to make a difference. From a place of acceptance, you allow yourself to heal.
THREE.
Turn to yourself: How can you be/do/feel differently about this? How have your past actions (conscious or subconscious) not been in alignment with the person you want to be and the world you want to see?
FOUR.
Think globally, act locally. It starts with the change that happens in your heart, moving on through the conversations you have in your own home and with your close friends. From there - how can you change the community you live in? Think big, act small.
FIVE.
Act! Just do stuff! The best way to turn shame into something empowering is by getting to action. Educate yourself and then act on that new knowledge - allow yourself to grow!
SIX.
Call yourself out. Old habits die hard but they can be changed if we allow ourselves to be wrong. But as shame arises, do the loop over again. Turn change into empowerment and positive change.
SEVEN.
Strongly visualize the world you want to live in and then be the person who makes that world possible. Your words + actions matter so much more than you think. Be the change.
Photo: Oladimeji Odunsi
Remember that we’re in this together and that in order to grow, we must move outside our comfort zones, ask the uncomfortable questions, and be OK with whatever arises from underneath the surface. If you feel shameful over anything, embrace that! Celebrate it as a part of your growth and choose to let it empower you to move forward. You are not your past but your current will define your future. So if something doesn’t sit right with you, how will you work with it to transform it into the person you want to be next?
Sending love!
